Thursday, November 6, 2008

Why am I not praying constantly?

Pray constantly.

I am often praying for situations and people, sometimes at dedicated times, other times impromptu based on what is going on around me.

But last night, as I was sitting in on a women's prayer group that is starting up at our church (pastors often get to sit in on stuff where the categories of qualification are suspended), and they were talking about each woman praying for herself, that they might be transformed and help transform others, several thoughts occurred to me.

First, I have heard many women speak of the difficulty of doing for themselves what they would do without reservation for someone in their circle of care. I recognize this in other men and myself as well, but women are far more likely to articulate it, in my experience.

Second, praying for myself can feel selfish (to me, your mileage may vary) even when I do so out of fear, pain, exhaustion, worry, illness or any other condition where I would pray for someone else in that same condition without reservation.

Third, praying for oneself is not selfish unless it is done for selfish reasons. To use an example that grossly exaggerates the point: If I pray to win the lottery so I can always be comfortable, that is a more selfish prayer; If I pray to let God help me steward my resources for the betterment of those around me, that seems a much less selfish prayer. And yes, how I pray even that prayer may also reveal my motives as well.

Fourth, every Sunday as I get robed to lead worship, I pray "Lord, help me be the best minister I can be," as I put on my stole, the symbol of the office of minister in our denomination. In my brief time with these praying women, I was convicted with the realization that I should spend more time praying this prayer each day, not just right before show time.

Lord, help me be the best minister I can be.

And as I am praying that, I need to use other words in there, too. Help me be the best husband...friend...son...prayer partner...colleague...manager...chaplain...person...I can be. The list is as long as roles that I have in my relationships with others.

But for today, as I type from the office of the church, I am going to start where I am.

Lord, help me be the best minister I can be.
Amen.

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